25. The expendable
(version española https://www.kukuruyo.com/comic/31-la-mercenaria/)
The tiny one is a cameo from another of my comics, Guild adventure https://www.kukuruyo.com/comic/chapter-1-page-0/
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I imagine Lizard being like goblin slayer, only slightly less obsessed and insane.
Guildmaster: Lizard we have a quest for you.
Lizard: salamanders?
Guildmaster: no bu-
Lizard: *leaves* XD
Imagine how awesome goblin slayer would be if it where salamanders instead.
SALAMANDER SLAYER
We totally need a Salamander Slayer character in this webcomic. There is no arguing on this.
We need a knight between 6,3 and 7 foot tall or more, whos is constantly in full armour (even when he sleeps), he also needs to anwser every question that isn’t about salamanders with “yes” or “no” or “I see”, and when the question is about salamanders he needs to give an extremely long explanation.
He also needs to be the most dense motherfucker on earth, and he needs to be immune to flirting, and sexual inunendo’s.
Then again if the show was called “salamander slayer”, instead of “goblin slayer” it would only be one episode long (maybe half an episode), because he would get killed or raped (or both) on day one. XD
Not if he acts as Goblin Slayer does, and whenever possible instead of killing his prey in direct combat he drowns them in their lair. Or poisons them. Or blows them. Or crumbles them.
Mate, in the goblin Slayer universe, goblins are litterally the weakest creatures alive. They are cowards, they are way weaker than average humans, and everybody sees as wastes of time. In Robukan salamanders are the strongest creatures alive. They don’t live in pacs, they are brave to the point of stupidity, they take extremely dangerous poison to kill, and they are way stronger than an average human. There not like Goblins, you can’t just mow them down, they wil mow you down.
If there where salamanders instead of goblins in goblin slayer. It would just be a group of more intelligent goblin champions, and goblin Slayer would die (or get raped, then die XD) in less than a second.
So either the salamander Slayer is one of the big four, or Ramemba is really good at killing salamanders.
Goblins and salamander do have one thing in common.
“They are not smart, but they are not complete idiots either”.
It is true that they are stronger and more resistent than humans. But they are not very wise either, and that can be used at the advantage of anyone who decides to fight them. Why facing a fair and square one on one fight? You can lure them into a death trap, or poison them (they probably are very resistant, but I’m sure that there have to be venoms and poisons lethal even for them), or kill them from the distance with arrows they won’t see coming…
If you want to exterminate them, there are multiple ways that don’t involve fights.
But then your a salamander hunter, not a salamander slayer.
There’s a difference. XD
To slay is to kill someone in a violent way. I think that dropping a rock on someone’s head, or filling them with arrows or making them explode is violent.
The “XD” means it was not meant to be serious. That is the rule of this website. XD
I know that it still means slaying them.
I don’t want to imagine how many arrows it will take to kill a salamander.
Goblin= 1 arrow
Salamander= 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 arrows
Better get started on that, Lizard. XD
Not so much, but Boromir would be ashamed
“One does not simply survive more than one arrow”
Salamanders: bitch, please. XD
Imagine that amount of arrows all shot at the same target.
She would just be buried in arrows. XD
You’ve made me remember this scene: https://media.giphy.com/media/xUPGcIb6MUmPXS0QCY/giphy.gif
That might not even kill a salamander. XD